Just a remind. The Polls close at midnight so don’t forget to vote for my next review. Currently Sharnado is in the lead… god help me… Don’t think that’s bad enough? Then click here: http://masochisticcinephile.wordpress.com/2014/06/15/next-review/
and vote. Because only you can decide my fate..

My pain is your pleasure. Vote for the next cinematic atrocity I must endure.

Don’t forget today is the last day to vote for my next review. Will Sharknado devour the competitions? Will Birdemic peck its way into first? Will Troll 2 goblin its way ahead of the rest? Will The Room awkwardly scare away the competitors with belly button sex? Find out athttp://masochisticcinephile.wordpress.com/. Polls close at midnight.

Troll 2: When vegetarians attack! Not since Leonard 6 have vegetarians been so evil… well that one time at the Chinese buffet when that one lady ended up stuffing the waiters head into the pork fried was pretty evil…Not Troll 2 evil though. How evil you may ask?… Even if you didn’t you can find out now by voting now for my next film review. The polls close at midnight.

My pain is your pleasure. Vote for the next cinematic atrocity I must endure. The Exquisite Torture of the Masochistic Cinephile

Hide your kids! Hide your wife! Hide your husband! because everyone is getting … eagled? 

Birdemic! The movie inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds… if by inspired you mean shit all over a classic then yes… inspired… you too can be inspired to shit on me by voting for this movie for my next review (please do not literally shit on me… I’m not into that regardless of Hulio says

My pain is your pleasure. Vote for the next cinematic atrocity I must endure. The Exquisite Torture of the Masochistic Cinephile

itchyarmpititis:

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

Fucking hell what goes on in your schools.

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A platoon of eagles and vultures attacks the residents of a small town. Many people die. It’s not known what caused the flying menace to attack. Two people manage to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic?

My pain is your pleasure. Vote for the next cinematic atrocity I must endure. The Exquisite Torture of the Masochistic Cinephile

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Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored of him and decides to seduce Johnny’s best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again.

Thats right ladies and gentlemen, not one but two promotions today so keep the votes coming. 

My pain is your pleasure. Vote for the next cinematic atrocity I must endure. The Exquisite Torture of the Masochistic Cinephile

Bad Movie Review Poll: Sharknado

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When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.

My pain is your pleasure. Vote for the next cinematic atrocity I must endure. The Exquisite Torture of the Masochistic Cinephile

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